Once my husband and I went to great lengths to prepare a special meal for a dinner guest we were told was a strict vegetarian. We asked if she was an occasionally cheaty one who dabbled in seafood or the odd piece of poultry. Absolutely not.
You can imagine our confusion when she announced at the dinner table that foie gras was her favorite food just as my husband was serving her some meatless dish that kept him a slave in the kitchen all day. Naturally, we inquired as to what the truth was. “I am a vegetarian, but foie gras is bloody delicious. So is lamb. I shared a perfect leg the other night.”
Air kisses were exchanged upon her departure. Air kisses. That is the perfect name for them as the gesture could not be emptier or more devoid of affection. I think it’s actually the only kiss that can mean “fuck you.”
When the door shut we headed straight to the kitchen for cured meat snacks. I sat on the counter dangling my legs, while my husband, King of All Our Ibérico, doled out pieces of delicious pork. That’s when inspiration struck and I created the ultimate sandwich.
My recipe calls for Ibérico as that’s what we had on hand (And because it’s the most delicious thing ever. It tastes like butter made from ham.), but you can make this recipe with prosciutto or whatever else suits. I always eat it in reverent silence as if filled with the Holy Spirit, El Puerco. To me, pork is proof that God exists and that he loves us very much.
This sandwich is also great after a champagne inspired swing from the chandelier. Which is exactly when you need something as hot and salty as you are.
Ingredients to have handy:
A good loaf of Italian bread
Jamon Ibérico or whatever thinly sliced ham you choose
¼ c. – ½ c. of cream
Good grainy mustard
Slice the bread ¾ of an inch thick. Next, slice the mozzarella barely ¼ of an inch thick. Lay the cheese on one slice of bread so the entire area is covered in creamy goodness. Top the cheese with a thin layer of ham then add another layer of cheese. This is necessary to ensure the contents of your sandwich do not escape the bread. Think of the mozzarella as an adhesive.
Whisk the eggs and cream with crudely chopped herbs, roughly a heaping tablespoon of each.
Heat a pad of butter and a drizzle of olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Dredge the sandwiches in the egg mixture and cook until golden brown. Serve with mustard.